Sunday, July 10, 2011

Disappointments and Challenges

Where shall I start, with the disappointments or with the challenges?  Mmph, if that's not a loaded question I don't know what is...  Yes that is the tone of frustration, discouragements and just down right funkiness!  Now is your chance to run far far away, or you can join me in today's blogging adventure.  Ack, hold on I have got to find the mute button for the children, they are being so loud right now, that they are interfering with the minimal brainwaves I have left right now...BRB.  AGH, I don't mean to be Grumpy from, "Snow White" but really I can only take so much of the noise.  It's wild, crazy, screaming animal like noises and it's at an incredibly HIGH decibel!  So, now the noise level is a bit more tolerable, I can still here them giggling while they are watching, "Annie" in their room (the two little ones)...I love that sound.  Right now though my shoulder/neck hurt and I'm moody because of dumb, but AAARRGGHH, I was finally starting to get into a regular routine with working out...and ROAD BLOCK!  I know it'll go away and work out, but I've struggled for months (and I mean months) with getting myself back into a routine to workout.  Just me being a pouty pessimistic brat, and this to shall pass, but I have had so many days where I feel like I'm at the end of my ropes with this deployment thing.  Where I've doubted my ability to direct my way through another year long tour (we are just going  to disregard the two months of training prior to the 12 he is actually in country).  Let's see we have four kids to take care of and chauffeur to and from school and varies extra-curricular actives, I have to get the house on the market November/December time frame, take care of the animals, take care of myself, keep the house in with the millions of the kids' emotions about daddy being gone and my grandpa is sick, grandma is hanging in there with her own health issues and I am falling apart at the darn seams!!  Getting to Boot Camp and getting out there and getting my run back on feels like the only time I can just block all that stuff (and anything else I may have forgotten or omitted) out.  When I do not workout, I have a harder time keeping my eating in line...and when I hurt/ache and feel in general like poo that makes me just want to go nutso too!  Getting older and out of shape SUCKS, if I had just not fallen off the wagon when J left for Iraq, then just maybe I wouldn't be where I am now (physically speaking because there's not much else I would change with where I am right now)  Wow, I'm totally rambling right now...mmm, LOL!  Well, ok let's see if I can't turn this around....if your still with me that is, LOL!

So, tomorrow starts another challenge for that is positive and will strengthen my relationship with God...and hopefully dilute the crazy women in me who rambled on above!  :o)  Tomorrow I start the 90 Day Bible Challenge, this means that I will read the entire Bible from cover to cover in 90 days, I have tried this on my own a few times as a teen, but never was successful.  I joined this online group that does this challenge together with mentors and such, so I've been praying for success this go around.  I'm excited about this as you may have read in previous blogging, that I've had my own personal struggles with my faith and this past year went through M.O.M.S at church (ministry of moms sharing) and from that I've grown so much spiritually, but I know I still have a ways to go.

Well, now I've totally lost my train of thought...frazzled much, LOL!  These are the days that being a military family has it's downfalls.  I would love to have my husband home right now to give me a hug, or at least have my mom, dad, sister and grandparents closer to me, somewhere to go and get that reassuring hug and clear my head.  Then I wouldn't have to ramble on or rant and rave here, LOL!!

Anyway, feeling a little bit better now...maybe some more Biofreeze, Motrin and let's see if I can get some ZZzz's tonight.  Throw in a few prayers and who knows maybe I'll wake up good as new tomorrow, so I can wake up to my favorite part of the day...