Wow! Been a bit too long!!

I cannot believe it has been this long since my last posting...I really need to keep on top things. Well, let's see a lot has happened since my last blog entry many moons ago, LOL, I'll keep this short (maybe) and try not to boar you with all of the details. I did run the Disney Princess Run a few weeks ago with my favorite peep Christine, we left for Disney on Saturday morning, ran the race on Sunday morning (bright and early)and got home Monday afternoon. We had a BLAST on our little girl's weekend getaway, so much fun...basically just being silly and hanging out. I am so blessed to have a friend like her in my life, she is just one of those people that is always there regardless of what it is. We did not improve our overall finish time over last years, I think we were like three minutes slower, but we ran more this year than last year and we stopped more for pictures this year. As much as we both would have loved to improve our time in this race we decided from the get go this is just one of those races that you run to have a good time (at least for us). As always running through the parks is soo much fun and having our pictures taken with the characters was great...yes we are big kids at heart, nothing wrong with that. Just means with a young heart, we will live longer and happier lives. Wore our tiaras around a bit too, which is great fun because only in Disney can you get away with that AND have people calling you a Princess, LOVE IT!!! Wearing our medals around that evening after the races was great too, because again soo many people there to support and congratulate you, not just the cast and crew of Disney but other runner's and people vacationing. Cannot wait to do the Disney Princess run next, just have to work out the logistics for the kids. I would also LOVE to do the Wine & Dine Half Marathon in the fall with Christine, we will see. I will just have to pray about these runs and see if God can help me find the answers for the children for these runs. Just maybe I can get my 12 year old to train with me and do the Princess run with me, she keeps saying she wants to do a half with me and Lord knows that is the race to do!

Other than my amazing Disney weekend things have been crazy hectic around here, getting the house ready to put on the market this summer and getting the hubby ready for his time in the desert (or rather getting the kids and myself ready for daddy's time in the desert). We have worked out a budget that will hopefully get us out of the mess we are in financially, and I have been doing a lot of praying about it. Although I thought my husband was going to stroke out when I told him I was tithing 10% our income tax return to the church this year. He tried all the bargaining with me that I tried with God when I was praying about this decision, but I know that this is what God wanted me to do. As I told my husband there have been so many times in our marriage that we have said, "wow, God is really looking out for us" or "God has a plan for us and we just need to trust in him that everything will workout for the best in the end". I do realize that the money was earmarked for some part of our debt to get us out of the whole and to help with selling our house in this ever so crappy market, but I believe that bigger and better things are in store for us and that we need to make sacrifices in order for these things to do happen. He is so stressed about everything and just has not yet gotten that he just needs to leave all our worries and stresses with God and pray about it , he will not let us down.

Also, in these past few weeks I have finished my eighth week journey through M.O.M.S and all that we have left is our celebration luncheon, which just so happens to be on the day my hubby leaves. I cannot think of a better group of ladies to spend the afternoon with to ease my mind. This whole experience has been so amazing for me and really has opened me up to my more spiritual side, which I LOVE! I was looking for a way to connect and get closer to God and this was it. I have been saying for years that I want to go through M.O.M.S and God put it out there for me because he knew that this is exactly what I needed at this time in my life. I no longer have the fears that I had with going into another long desert tour. I know that God will get me through if I just continue to keep the faith and pray to him. I am not worried at the possibility of the same nonsense drama that I dealt with the last time he was gone. God has shown me the direction to go to get through it all and the kids and I will do great. I am actually looking forward to sometime to bond with kids again and be a better person than I was the last time. I feel like I am more level headed now, a little less Cybil in the house will be great (and I'm sure my munchkins will appreciate this as well, LOL). I think I was do for a new take on life, a soul-lift if you will and I believe that is what this journey has been for me. I am looking forward to continue to get closer to God and grow to be a better Christian woman and role-model for my children. I am excited to say that I am going to see what gifts God has given me and see how I can help in the church's Outreach Ministry. I think it sounds perfect for me, I LOVE to help people and I cannot think of a better way to start to get outside of my box and my circle of friends. Life has so much to offer if we just can look outside ourselves and step outside of our comfort zones. I am looking forward to exploring the friendships I have made with the women in my M.O.M.S group, they were all so wonderful and such great ladies to spend my Monday nights with. I have started listening to devotionals on my phone every morning, and so far I really enjoy Joyce Meyers' daily podcast. It is amazing how much of a difference in my life meeting with a small group of Christian women one day a week for a few hours has made in my life.

I know there is more I wanted to write, however it is almost 1:00am and my brain is fighting with me to call it a night.


Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised -Proverbs 31:30

K-LOVE - Jason Castro "You Are" LIVE

Another song today that I heard on the radio that hits very close to home. I did not know that American Idol produced so many amazing Christian singers.

Is done just dating God and ready for a full time commitment....

No, I'm not crazy, this is my answer to the question posed to me in my daily devotional podcast from Joyce Meyer.  I must say I'm a bit nervous, but I have already put it all at God's feet and I am ready to completely put my faith and trust in him AND give completely to what he asks of me and not just half of what he asks. 

Since starting my beginning my spiritual journey in M.O.M.S, I have seen things so differently.  Going to church on Sundays and praying from home (or wherever else the urge/need to pray hits me) is just the tip of the iceberg and only a part of what he asks of me.  I am not sure why it is all happening now, but he knows.  I know that right now I have so many struggles in my life and I know that only if I commit to him completely and fully will I rise from my struggles and be where I am and who I am supposed to be in my life.  Even writing this leaves me a bit dazed and confused, so I will just continue to listen for his lead and follow, at some point it will become a big beautiful picture.

My husband and I have so many struggles right now.  Getting a house ready to sell in a market that is not by any means seller friendly, attempting to get the finances in order (you know paying off the debt and trying to be better savers), oh and did I mention the getting ready for him to leave for a 14 month det. to Afghanistan...no struggles or stresses there at all.  It is in the midst of this and raising a family that I am beginning to blossom in my spirituality.  In this I understand that I am only human and I will have my personal struggles and my occasional falls from good graces (i.e. the thing called retail therapy), but it is in recognizing this, continuing to pray for God's guidance, continuing to listen to him AND following him and trusting in him 100% that in his time things will happen.   It is a kind of weird surreal feeling, as stressed as I should feel right now about everything, I no longer am stressed, in fact I feel at peace (feels weird saying that) with everything.  I know and have always believed (maybe not always understood it) that he will never give me more than I can handle, so it he has put this in front of me, then he knows I will make it through. 

 I think I'm beginning to babble again...but seriously I know what I'm talking about.
  God Bless!

Stronger by Mandisa (From the Upcoming Album "What If We Were Real")

This song came on the radio this morning and it really hit home for me... This will get me through the next year and a half... 

So, I have not posted again in about a week or so...someday I will find the time to share life's events on a more regular basis.  I've been going to M.O.M.S (Ministry of Mom's Sharing) for a few weeks now and I LOVE it, I can see changes in myself already (and the women I have met are wonderful).  Now of course there is always room for improvement...it's a marathon not a sprint, LMBO!  I've set another mini goal for myself, but it is really something I've been setting out to do since the deigning of the year...you know the one about my owning my feelings and not letting other's walk all over me...again it's a work in progress.  I am determined to not let the actions of others destroy me while  J is gone this time around.  I still have to learn to share my feelings with people and let them know when they have hurt my feelings, the trick is to do it without crying.

In my journey through M.O.M.S I have learned to start recognizing the "grace filled" moments in my life, you know it truly is the little things in life that make it all worth being a mom.  For example last Friday mine was grace filled moment was wonderful and made me realize how blessed I am with such wonderful children.  My children had gotten out of school early and were just bickering with each other all day, driving me out of my mind.  I left to do grocery shopping and had left them to do their chores (and try not to kill each other), when I returned home all four of them came to the car and helped me take in the groceries and put them away and this all without me having to ask them.  The groceries were in the house and all put away within 20 minutes, I was amazed!  I of course thanked them, however, later that evening I was riding to the airport to pick up my dad and enjoying some Kari Jobe music, reflecting on my day and realized how amazing my children were. 

On another note, as I have said I am not doing the 26.2 with Donna, because of my lack of ability to train properly for it but I am doing the Disney Princess 1/2 which is in like 19 days.  I am so excited to do the race again with Christine and enjoy a weekend away.  I am hoping that now that I've started running again and I can continue on my path to getting myself healthy again and lose the weight I've gained in the past year.  Time will of course tell. 

So, all in all even with the minor bumps and bruises along the way this past week, life has been amazingly wonderful and I am feeling truly blessed!

 

Random thoughts and questions from a six year old

So, I have not posted in a while, OK well I think over a week.  I have been pretty productive around the     house    , however, I have not done what I set out to do for myself (I know big surprise   there right, NOT!)  This week at M.O.M.S I set a goal for myself and that was to use my kick bag at least three times before our next meeting, I guess I had better get punching and kicking.

  I am PMSing (TMI,LOL) so I'm moody and I'm hungry, just an all around fun person to be around.  Why is it always so easy to keep promises to others but not to yourself?  Ever notice that, or am I the only one who will drop myself for others, oh well, I'll get it right at some point.  I've started pulling papers to start getting ready to do what we have to do to sell our house, I'm soo looking forward to that nightmare in this tanking economy.  Onward and upward, not much I can do about the crap the government has gotten our economy into (except vote and believe me I do that every chance I get).

So, my Bella has posed some very interesting questions to me this week.  Our conversation in the car was about marriage and babies, you see I'll tell my kids you have to be married to have a baby, well I guess the got it but not really, LOL!  So, we are on our way to school yesterday and Bella asks if I have been married four times, and I told her I have not, that I have only been married to daddy (with a bit of a puzzled look, since I did not see the next thing coming).  Well, she says how can I have four babies if I only got married once, so I told her that all four of my babies are with daddy and she matter a fact states, "boys do not make babies only mommies do, so what does daddy have to do with it"?  By this point my tired mind is a bit dazed and confused, as it is only 7:20AM and I have yet to have my cup of coffee.  I try to wrap my brain around this so I can answer her in a way that she will understand, as I'm thinking she again says, "so you have been married four times right mommy"?  It is just way to early for this and tell her we will have this conversation when she gets older and turn up the radio.  Good Lord, what have I done, she thinks I got married four times so I could have four babies.  Well I know this has been a bit of a boring blog, but I had to share my Bella story because it was cute and innocent.  Have a blessed day!

OMG...what a way to start a Monday...

I mean a Tuesday!!!  So, I got on the scale this morning and I took my before pictures, all I have to say is O..M..G..!!      I wanted to hurl the camera, the pictures and the scale out the window, how could I let myself get to this point.  I must say I tossed my newly opened bag of Dove Dark Chocolate in the trash can and it's time to pick myself up by my boot straps.  As I stated earlier, I am going through a lot of emotional soul searching right now, trying to strengthen my bond with God, myself and my family.  Waking up one day and realizing that people aren't always who they seem to be or who you thought they were leads you to look inside yourself to look for answers.  However, even though I am going through this emotional war    inside myself I am going to have to reach deep down inside myself and pull out drive to get on with my physical goals before I end up eating myself into the next Biggest Loser contestant. No, I do not have a distorted perception of how big I am, I know I am know where near as big as the people on that show, the thing to add to that statement is ..not yet.  I do buy healthy food and serve healthy food, however, I do buy myself little treats   to scarf down (usually I hide them from the kids so I get to eat them).  Also I have noticed that I am a bit of an emotional eater, but only when I am feeling down.  I know that getting my butt back into shape will help my emotional side as well.  Time to put on my big girl panties and start dealing and stop putting it off.  PS/ In case you are wondering I will not be posting the details, i.e. pictures and actual numbers on the scale, LOL...this is the world wide web   and I do not need the whole world to see.  I will however, posts losses and gains and such.  OK...now to get cracking on the housework.