Saturday, January 8, 2011

Deep thoughts and randomness

So, the other night my husband was talking about his New Year's Resolution that he made and how it was going, he then asked me what my resolution was.  I told him that I do not make New Year's Resolutions, which kind of puzzled him, he made some comment questioning the reason why one wouldn't want to make a resolution to better themselves.  Well, here is my reason for not making resolutions.  I decided a few years back that every year you make this big resolution, to get healthy, lose weight, get organized or whatever and then by the end of January, February if your lucky things start to fall apart.  I've decided you to make a plan, you need to spend the entire year working setting mini-goals for yourself.  Say for example instead of saying on January first that you are going to start exercising, eating right and your goal is lose 20lbs by next would say maybe the beginning of January that you want to start walking for 30 minutes three times a week and not snack after 8:00 at night.  Work on this goal for a few weeks (so it becomes a habit, instead of goal...a habit lasts forever), then you could say OK, now I'm going to cut soda out and do sit-ups three times a on and so forth.  Then by the end of the year instead of reaching a goal of losing 20lbs you've created a new lifestyle and you have a bunch of accomplishments then you can be proud of.  I do not know if I am making sense, but it seems that if you set small goals for yourself you set yourself up for better success rather than setting a resolution for the year, because let's face it if say by February you've fallen off the "resolution" wagon the whole thing gets lost in the day to day shuffle.  I think that instead of New Year's Resolutions, we should be telling people what accomplishments we've made throughout the year.  There is always room for improvement within oneself, but it may in several different areas of your life.  With setting mini-goals through out the year you can focus on that goal and turn it into a positive habit that lasts rather than something that stops once you reach your "goal".  Again, I'm not sure you follow, but I know what I'm thinking, LOL!

One personal thing I am working on this year is clearing the air with people whom I've had falling outs within the past couple of years.  I plan on through out the beginning of the year catching up with or sending little cards out to these people and letting them know how I feel, the reason is to make me feel better.  I am one of those emotional sentimental type of people, but I tend turn my emotions within when I get hurt and bottle it up.  Unfortunately, my poor husband will get the brunt of this through tears and sadness at home, and why should he have to hear it, I mean yes he gives me a hug and the support but he cannot fix it.  For me it will be a healing process, because I do carry this stuff around and it eats at me at times.  For the other person, maybe it will help them as well, from it I am expecting nothing, I hope it will patch up friendships and make others stronger, however, I've decided hear and now that if the other person gets angry over than there is nothing more I can do.  I have let them know how I feel and apologize for what I have done wrong in our situations, but I cannot be responsible for how they feel (um, well that's what I'm telling myself).  From here I hope to move on either as friends or we part ways and I've gotten things off of my chest.  Sort of a personal cleansing you could say.  I do not want all the nonsense drama anymore, I want true friends. 

So what do you find as good characteristics for a friend?  Here's what I would hope to find in a true friend; first and foremost someone I can trust.  Trust is not an easy thing for me, it definitely has to be earned.  If I tell them something in confidence than I want to know that they are going to respect me enough to not others.  Trust and honesty go hand in had and are both HUGE to me.  To me a friend is someone who is there for you in good and bad times.  You know, there to laugh with you when times are good, but also there to be your rock when things are not so good.  I have been blessed with some truly amazing friends in my life who have been there when others were not.  I can remember my best friend growing up, sadly we have lost touch through the craziness of life as adults (I still hold hope to one day get back in touch, maybe not as close as we were as kids, but it definitely would be great to catch up), she was there for me so much growing up.  I think one of the biggest things that stands out was when I was sexually abused by an uncle and I told her, I didn't know what to do, or if I was wrong about what was happening and I was devastated (he was at the time my favorite uncle).  I couldn't even bring myself to look my parents in the face and tell them...she told them for me.  I am not sure I ever thanked her (we were 12), if it was not for her I am not sure I would have ever told my parents, and who knows if things would have continued happening.  I don't think you really realize how important it is to surround yourself with amazing people until you find yourself feeling alone and wonder where everyone went.  Another quality that is truly important to me is their moods/feelings, now don't get me wrong we all have bad days where we are feeling less than positive, however, I believe that you become like the people you surround yourself with.  With that said, as an adult I've learned that it is important for me to that my friends are positive about life and all that it has to offer, you definitely feed off of each other and nothing worse than being around someone who is always so negative towards themselves, life in general or even others.  This year is going to be a great year an amazing year and it's going to start with me and hopefully I will positive enough to influence others to be more positive.  Have your ever been friends with someone, at least in your mind, and come to find out later from some else that they do not view you as a friend, in fact they don't even like you?  Really, it makes you start to question things...

So, tomorrow is Sunday and thus far I have not selected our menu for the rest of this month...that's what I'm doing during football tomorrow.  The decluttering of six years worth of living in the house is going to take me, oh about six more years I think, LMBO!!!  I've totally decluttered the kids' bathroom, some of the books on various shelves around the house have been downsized and all brought to a few less shelves, started the laundry room (I mean really how many Swiffer Vacs does one individual need?).  This week I'm going to hit the two hall closets, finish the laundry room and shudder to say this but I'm going to start on my son's room (the boy is such a pack rat, so this will have to be done while he is in school).  Also on Monday morning I vow to go to the gym and start my goal of getting back into the routine of a healthier lifestyle.  At some point I have to reevaluate the budget I set up for us...totally blew the grocery budget by about $100 the first two weeks, so I'm going to have to tweak the numbers and figure out what is a good amount.  Other than that I've done pretty good with our budget and so has J, now we just have to get tweaked for next month and keep doing this every month.  This is towards our goal to be better with our finances...long term goal is to pay off the credit cards, student loan, my truck...debt free with the exception of a house payment (soon to be Colorado, OK well not for awhile with this market, LOL). 

Well my brain is shutting down, so if I don't get going you'll be reading a bunch of random letters as my head hits the keyboard.  As Tigger says...TTFN, ta ta for now!


  1. I love this blog, but not as much as I love you!

  2. Girl, I do not know how deserve such an amazing friend as you, God has truly blessed me with your friendship. Love you too!