Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Random thoughts and questions from a six year old

So, I have not posted in a while, OK well I think over a week.  I have been pretty productive around the   Vacuuming  house    , however, I have not done what I set out to do for myself (I know big surprise Shocked  there right, NOT!)  This week at M.O.M.S I set a goal for myself and that was to use my kick bag at least three times before our next meeting, I guess I had better get punching and kicking.

 Boxing I am PMSing (TMI,LOL) so I'm moody and I'm hungry, just an all around fun person to be around.  Why is it always so easy to keep promises to others but not to yourself?  Ever notice that, or am I the only one who will drop myself for others, oh well, I'll get it right at some point.  I've started pulling papers to start getting ready to do what we have to do to sell our house, I'm soo looking forward to that nightmare in this tanking economy.  Onward and upward, not much I can do about the crap the government has gotten our economy into (except vote and believe me I do that every chance I get).

So, my Bella has posed some very interesting questions to me this week.  Our conversation in the car was about marriage and babies, you see I'll tell my kids you have to be married to have a baby, well I guess the got it but not really, LOL!  So, we are on our way to school yesterday and Bella asks if I have been married four times, and I told her I have not, that I have only been married to daddy (with a bit of a puzzled look, since I did not see the next thing coming).  Well, she says how can I have four babies if I only got married once, so I told her that all four of my babies are with daddy and she matter a fact states, "boys do not make babies only mommies do, so what does daddy have to do with it"?  By this point my tired mind is a bit dazed and confused, as it is only 7:20AM and I have yet to have my cup of coffee.  I try to wrap my brain around this so I can answer her in a way that she will understand, as I'm thinking she again says, "so you have been married four times right mommy"?  It is just way to early for this and tell her we will have this conversation when she gets older and turn up the radio.  Good Lord, what have I done, she thinks I got married four times so I could have four babies.  Well I know this has been a bit of a boring blog, but I had to share my Bella story because it was cute and innocent.  Have a blessed day!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

OMG...what a way to start a Monday...

I mean a Tuesday!!!  So, I got on the scale this morning and I took my before pictures, all I have to say is O..M..G..!!   Crazy   I wanted to hurl the camera, the pictures and the scale out the window, how could I let myself get to this point.  I must say I tossed my newly opened bag of Dove Dark Chocolate in the trash can and it's time to pick myself up by my boot straps.  As I stated earlier, I am going through a lot of emotional soul searching right now, trying to strengthen my bond with God, myself and my family.  Waking up one day and realizing that people aren't always who they seem to be or who you thought they were leads you to look inside yourself to look for answers.  However, even though I am going through this emotional war   Tank 2 inside myself I am going to have to reach deep down inside myself and pull out drive to get on with my physical goals before I end up eating myself into the next Biggest Loser contestant. No, I do not have a distorted perception of how big I am, I know I am know where near as big as the people on that show, the thing to add to that statement is ..not yet.  I do buy healthy food and serve healthy food, however, I do buy myself little treats  Chocolate to scarf down (usually I hide them from the kids so I get to eat them).  Also I have noticed that I am a bit of an emotional eater, but only when I am feeling down.  I know that getting my butt back into shape will help my emotional side as well.  Time to put on my big girl panties and start dealing and stop putting it off.  PS/ In case you are wondering I will not be posting the details, i.e. pictures and actual numbers on the scale, LOL...this is the world wide web Satellite Dish  and I do not need the whole world to see.  I will however, posts losses and gains and such. to get cracking on the housework.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Downhill from Monday...

Nothing like starting the week with my truck acting up and having to call the hubby at work to come and take the kids to school.  Yes, the truck that I have just made my third payment on today...yes it is a 2009 vehicle, so not brand new, just new to me.  In its previous life it was someones leased vehicle, anywho it was still under warranty (for another four hundred miles, LOL), so problem was fixed.  I should have known right from there that week was not going to go as planned.  So, from there Monday was a pretty much a scratch as far as productivity is concerned...with the exception of getting my menu planned for the next forty days or so (although it is only planned on the calendar for the rest of the month).  However, the silver lining...I got to have breakfast at Paneras with my husband, mmm the food was great, the company was excellent!  Monday night I started my MOMS group at church (Ministry of Moms Sharing), which I'm looking forward to.  It's an eight week long journey of faith sharing for moms.  I'm looking forward to going through this for many reasons, what a great way to do some soul searching and of building your spirituality.  Seriously folks, that was just Monday...

It was a productive week, but a very slow productive week.  First the truck, then the shredder craps out on me, I think that was Wednesday, before it was done doing it's job too!!!  QUITTER!!  Then from there the modem crapped out on us.  It took me most of the week, but I finally got the office done.  I did groceries for the rest of the month on Friday, I do not remember my totals but my savings was 36%..done better but I'm happy with that.  Couponing and savings is harder when you are trying to eat healthier, lot less coupons and such for that.  I would love to see more sales and coupons on organic foods and less on things like cookies and junk cereals.  This morning I rearranged and organized my pantry...oooohhh and to help my OCD I purchased a label maker!!  Fun!!

I did not, however, get working out this week, nor did I do my initial weight and picture for my journal.  I will this week.  I did decide that I do not want to use my gym membership that Jason got me for Christmas, I've asked him to return it, and I can work out at home and in our community amenities.  Took the kids hiking today, which we all enjoyed.  Although I enjoyed our mile and a half hike, I was paranoid that the kids (or even J and I) would get ticks on us, paranoia sometimes gets the better of me.  I think the funniest thing this week was when I was helping the little two with their shower today.  They stuck their little booties up to the glass shower door and made little butt cheek prints.  They proceeded to take their little butt cheek prints and put a line on either side to make glasses.  Creative I must say, but I laughed my butt off!!!  Where do they come up with these things?  AAhh to be a kid again, yeah, not really I'll pass, been there done that and I'm declaring it a no do over, LOL!  So, now off to enjoy the rest of this night and the rest of this long weekend with the love of my life and our children (both the two legged and four legged ones).

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Deep thoughts and randomness

So, the other night my husband was talking about his New Year's Resolution that he made and how it was going, he then asked me what my resolution was.  I told him that I do not make New Year's Resolutions, which kind of puzzled him, he made some comment questioning the reason why one wouldn't want to make a resolution to better themselves.  Well, here is my reason for not making resolutions.  I decided a few years back that every year you make this big resolution, to get healthy, lose weight, get organized or whatever and then by the end of January, February if your lucky things start to fall apart.  I've decided you to make a plan, you need to spend the entire year working setting mini-goals for yourself.  Say for example instead of saying on January first that you are going to start exercising, eating right and your goal is lose 20lbs by next would say maybe the beginning of January that you want to start walking for 30 minutes three times a week and not snack after 8:00 at night.  Work on this goal for a few weeks (so it becomes a habit, instead of goal...a habit lasts forever), then you could say OK, now I'm going to cut soda out and do sit-ups three times a on and so forth.  Then by the end of the year instead of reaching a goal of losing 20lbs you've created a new lifestyle and you have a bunch of accomplishments then you can be proud of.  I do not know if I am making sense, but it seems that if you set small goals for yourself you set yourself up for better success rather than setting a resolution for the year, because let's face it if say by February you've fallen off the "resolution" wagon the whole thing gets lost in the day to day shuffle.  I think that instead of New Year's Resolutions, we should be telling people what accomplishments we've made throughout the year.  There is always room for improvement within oneself, but it may in several different areas of your life.  With setting mini-goals through out the year you can focus on that goal and turn it into a positive habit that lasts rather than something that stops once you reach your "goal".  Again, I'm not sure you follow, but I know what I'm thinking, LOL!

One personal thing I am working on this year is clearing the air with people whom I've had falling outs within the past couple of years.  I plan on through out the beginning of the year catching up with or sending little cards out to these people and letting them know how I feel, the reason is to make me feel better.  I am one of those emotional sentimental type of people, but I tend turn my emotions within when I get hurt and bottle it up.  Unfortunately, my poor husband will get the brunt of this through tears and sadness at home, and why should he have to hear it, I mean yes he gives me a hug and the support but he cannot fix it.  For me it will be a healing process, because I do carry this stuff around and it eats at me at times.  For the other person, maybe it will help them as well, from it I am expecting nothing, I hope it will patch up friendships and make others stronger, however, I've decided hear and now that if the other person gets angry over than there is nothing more I can do.  I have let them know how I feel and apologize for what I have done wrong in our situations, but I cannot be responsible for how they feel (um, well that's what I'm telling myself).  From here I hope to move on either as friends or we part ways and I've gotten things off of my chest.  Sort of a personal cleansing you could say.  I do not want all the nonsense drama anymore, I want true friends. 

So what do you find as good characteristics for a friend?  Here's what I would hope to find in a true friend; first and foremost someone I can trust.  Trust is not an easy thing for me, it definitely has to be earned.  If I tell them something in confidence than I want to know that they are going to respect me enough to not others.  Trust and honesty go hand in had and are both HUGE to me.  To me a friend is someone who is there for you in good and bad times.  You know, there to laugh with you when times are good, but also there to be your rock when things are not so good.  I have been blessed with some truly amazing friends in my life who have been there when others were not.  I can remember my best friend growing up, sadly we have lost touch through the craziness of life as adults (I still hold hope to one day get back in touch, maybe not as close as we were as kids, but it definitely would be great to catch up), she was there for me so much growing up.  I think one of the biggest things that stands out was when I was sexually abused by an uncle and I told her, I didn't know what to do, or if I was wrong about what was happening and I was devastated (he was at the time my favorite uncle).  I couldn't even bring myself to look my parents in the face and tell them...she told them for me.  I am not sure I ever thanked her (we were 12), if it was not for her I am not sure I would have ever told my parents, and who knows if things would have continued happening.  I don't think you really realize how important it is to surround yourself with amazing people until you find yourself feeling alone and wonder where everyone went.  Another quality that is truly important to me is their moods/feelings, now don't get me wrong we all have bad days where we are feeling less than positive, however, I believe that you become like the people you surround yourself with.  With that said, as an adult I've learned that it is important for me to that my friends are positive about life and all that it has to offer, you definitely feed off of each other and nothing worse than being around someone who is always so negative towards themselves, life in general or even others.  This year is going to be a great year an amazing year and it's going to start with me and hopefully I will positive enough to influence others to be more positive.  Have your ever been friends with someone, at least in your mind, and come to find out later from some else that they do not view you as a friend, in fact they don't even like you?  Really, it makes you start to question things...

So, tomorrow is Sunday and thus far I have not selected our menu for the rest of this month...that's what I'm doing during football tomorrow.  The decluttering of six years worth of living in the house is going to take me, oh about six more years I think, LMBO!!!  I've totally decluttered the kids' bathroom, some of the books on various shelves around the house have been downsized and all brought to a few less shelves, started the laundry room (I mean really how many Swiffer Vacs does one individual need?).  This week I'm going to hit the two hall closets, finish the laundry room and shudder to say this but I'm going to start on my son's room (the boy is such a pack rat, so this will have to be done while he is in school).  Also on Monday morning I vow to go to the gym and start my goal of getting back into the routine of a healthier lifestyle.  At some point I have to reevaluate the budget I set up for us...totally blew the grocery budget by about $100 the first two weeks, so I'm going to have to tweak the numbers and figure out what is a good amount.  Other than that I've done pretty good with our budget and so has J, now we just have to get tweaked for next month and keep doing this every month.  This is towards our goal to be better with our finances...long term goal is to pay off the credit cards, student loan, my truck...debt free with the exception of a house payment (soon to be Colorado, OK well not for awhile with this market, LOL). 

Well my brain is shutting down, so if I don't get going you'll be reading a bunch of random letters as my head hits the keyboard.  As Tigger says...TTFN, ta ta for now!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hump Day....or is it?

Yes, you are correct it really is Wednesday, although I went through most of the day thinking it was Tuesday.  It was great when I finally realized it was Wednesday, er I think that is a good thing right, LOL!  So today was another fairly uneventful day in the Mendez household. 

So my five year old wants desperately to be a big girl at night and wear panties to bed, however, she is an extremely heavy sleeper and does not wake up when she has to go to the bathroom.  So after a month and a half of hit and miss with waking her to go to the bathroom (the hit or miss part is her being wet or dry), I've decided we need to try a different approach to night time potty training.  First, I went to the store tonight and bought another bag of pull ups...this was met with mixed reactions.  Ooooh, Sleeping Beauty and then why do I have to wear pull ups again.  Now let me tell you that when I would wake her at night to go to the bathroom and she was already wet, I would change her sheets and her clothes and the next morning she would not remember any of it.  She would wake thinking she was dry only to be crushed when I told her that I had changed her in the middle of the night (mind you I have her get herself dressed and help her get undressed, she just does not remember as she is barely conscious).  I just cannot take having to wash the sheets and the extra pad that we put over her sheets's crazy.  I also have done my research and finally caved and purchased a bed wetting alarm from Amazon which will be here on Friday.  I've read research on them and read several reviews on this particular one, and now I just hope it works.  According to the research I've done (I'm known as the Google geek amongst my friends, LOL) it is completely normal for a child to not be night time potty trained till the age of six or seven and Angel just turned five in December.  So, that was my excitement for the day...WOOT WOOT!!!  Only a mother can appreciate the "fun" in researching and purchasing a bed wetting alarm as the excitement for her day!!  Give it up moms, you know I'm right!  Let's see if this puppy can wake my little Angel up so she starts to recognize the feeling of having to wake up at night and go to the bathroom.  Out of my four children she is the only one we have had to try this on.  The other three we would wake them up once  a night in the middle of the night and take them to the bathroom and eventually they did it on their own (by eventually I mean within a month).  The only unique exception to this is my son...yes unique.  During his sleep he recognized the urge to have to go to the bathroom, HOWEVER, he didn't always recognize the location of the bathroom.  Yes, your read that correctly!  One night we caught him in the laundry room holding the lid to the container we had the dog food in, opened and peeing on the dog food, once I caught him peeing down the side of his dresser.  There were a few times he woke up and smelled of urine, my thought is that he woke and stopped mid-pee and went to the bathroom. He eventually grew out of it, quckly thankfully.  Angel, I fear may be a bit more of a challenge...anyway, we will see if this works.  We will still have the sticker calendar in the bathroom for when she wakes up dry, she puts a sticker on the calendar.

My oldest was home sick again today...NO FEVER SINCE THIS MORNING!!!  WHOOP...WHOOP!!! The girl is going to school tomorrow!!  I will be kid free for three hours tomorrow morning...can I get an AMEN!!  Now, please do not take this the wrong way, I LOVE my babies, but every mom needs some alone time.  A little bit of "woosaaa" time, I'm feeling a Zen moment in the morning.  I might even avoid housework and all that that entails, get a nice tasty cup of coffee, the book I'm getting ready to start and draw a bubble bath.  Yep, this mom is going to soak in the tub in the MORNING!!!  Then onto the I said yesterday I need to get my meal plans planned out for the rest of the month and maybe start next months.  Not only will this help with me trying to lose some weight (remember Monday is the moment of truth...AKA "D" Day), but I've put us back on a strict budget and set us back up with the envelope system.  So, if I can get my meals planned out it will make life easier when I sit down to work out the monthly budgets and how much cash I need to take out for groceries each month.  Big things are going to happen for this family this year!!!!

So are you ready to hear some of the big plans for this year...(DEEP CLEANSING BREATH INSERTED HERE)...
   ~The house is go on the market in June
   ~A $26,000 home equity line of credit will be paid off within the next year and a half (obviously sooner if the house sells quickly and it covers that too, but the market is horribly crappy right now).
   ~I'm going to lose  XX lbs (XX will be known for certain on D Day)
  ~We will have established and be firmly on our budget...*DRUM ROLL PLEASE* and be well on our way to paying off the credit cards....Goal is to be out of complete debt (besides house) in less than five years.

So now are you going on the market?  Where are we moving?  Well we have verbal orders to Colorado (for June of 2012...that is when J gets back from Afghanistan, yeppers 14 months).  Should the grace of God be over us and the house sells quickly the kids and I will move out there and get the house and get moved in....which yes will be stressful, however, it would be great to be set up in our new place by the time daddy returns.  It would make the post-deployment adjustment a lot less stressful.  I just cannot imagine him coming home from 14 months in Afghanistan and having to move the house and all of us up to Colorado...and then of course finding a house to for us all to live in there.  Well, OK I'm not focused anymore...I'm watching Clean House.  Love Niecy Nash!!!  Nighters All!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The cootie's are in the house....

yep that's right...and I think they might be the flu cooties..AAGGHH run quickly in the other direction (don't worry I am sanitizing my words as they splash across your screen).  My Nina Beana is sick, came down with a low grade fever last night with the body aches and a sore throat, today that low grade fever went up to 102.2* and she was an achy, icky feeling girl.  I've started pumping the rest of us with Vitamin C, Zinc and Echinecha; in hopes to prevent the cooties from spreading...of course there are also fingers crossed and prayers being said (I'll take whatever I can to prevent the spread of it).  So, other than having a sickly kid my day has been pretty unadventurous and pretty boring.  I did manage to rid my house of some more of the toxic cleaners and beauty products in my house.  LOL, as I read the phrase "beauty products" I get a chuckle to think I once would use these products fairly regularly and have since learned that these products are just chuck full of toxins that cause more harm to your body than good.  I am sorry but no beauty product is worth that...this chick is going green, it's not as a quick of a process I would like but I am going.  I washed the the shower that was interesting, but better than going out in the 40* weather and freezing our butts off (or tails in their case).  I am now going to sit and that very butt that I kept warm this morning and watch my all time favorite show..."The Biggest Loser"!  I am going to be really bad and eat a brownie while I watch it.  I've decided that starting next Monday, when we are back on track with our routines (and God willing we are all healthy) I'm going to get my butt back in the gym.  Next Sunday when the garbage goes out, so does the garbage food in the house.  Next Monday morning I will once again take my "beginning" pictures and get on the scale to get my actualstarting weight...time to get this butt back in shape.  I'm going to use this week to get the house back in order, the routine's back in order, hopefully my husband will get my weight bag set up for me.  If not, no worries...I've learned to be very independent over the years, not because of my husband being lazy (and he is not) but because well heck I'm a Navy wife...sink or swim baby!  By next Monday, the house will be ready for me, I will be ready and the family will be ready.  I have to get back to planning out my meals for the month, yes you read that right at one point I was planning out my dinners for an entire month (up on the calendar in the kitchen where everyone knows what we are eating and not to ask, LOL).  So I think I just did a whole lot of babbling, but I know what I meant, LOL!!!  Well...I'm off to get my big brownie and watch the Biggest Loser.  As my menu and plan comes together for next week I'll post it~

Monday, January 3, 2011

T-minus nine hours....

but whose counting!!  LMBO!!  That's is the amount of time till the Mendez bus pulls out of the driveway tomorrow morning to return the children back to school!!! A day every parent celebrates, at least a parent who has more than one child, because by this point of Christmas break they are in a constant state of bickering and I am having to play referee.  Don't get me wrong I like black and white in more wardrobe, just not that of a referee uniform (eeww, so not flattering).  So, I spent the day working on proofs for a client, breaking up arguments and washing bedding.  All and all a somewhat productive day...but I need to get my derriere up and moving and shake off some of the weight I have put on since September.  It's been a rough six months...thought my Thyroid was out of whack, however, I was mistaken.  Of course being the stubborn person that I am I waited to go the doctors...well until I started having issues in the bathroom (TMI TMI TMI WARNING).  I became constipated, I went from going two to three times a day to once every three to five days.  So, with that I decided it was time to go get checked out.  I was diagnosed with anemia, my iron levels were at 2.9 (the normal range is 11-300 and doctors do not like to see anything below 30).  Well, this explained a lot of the symptoms I was having; exhaustion, losing hair, moodiness etc.  The doctor gave me a prescription for iron of which I could not take the full dose with my constipation issue.  The two days I took the full dose caused my constipation issue to hit the roof.  Can you say HOLY COW UNCOMFORTABLE, not going for nine to eleven days is pure hell!!!  So, now I take the iron once every other day.  I am now feeling slightly human...I no longer have to nap an hour to two every day.  The issue at the other end seems to be slowly working its way out...however I now have 15lbs to lose (YAY me!).  Needless to say my marathon venture is not going to happen this year, but I will do it one day.  I am still planning to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon again this year on February 27th.  BTW, I am sitting here writing this while eating my second very large piece of fudge brownie with fudge frosting on it, yep, it's going to be a long haul to lose this 15lbs.  Hubby did buy me a membership to the Y for Christmas so I have a way to blow off steam while he is in Afghanistan, let's hope I can gain an interest in working out again with the same fever that I've eaten these two brownies tonight.  It's going be a looong and stressful year but I am hell bent and determined to stay positive and get through this.  My mantra is going to be, "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!"  Well OK, I think there was a little train who took that one, so I will have to come up with my own.  Any suggestions?

On another note...and an event from today, the dog that I put an adoption application in for at a rescue was adopted, sadly not to me.  I am heart broken to say the least, it is crazy as I have never have met this beautiful little lady, but I was head-over-heels for her as soon as I saw her picture and read her story.  Broken heartedness equals the two brownies ...oh and did I mention the several pieces of Dove's dark chocolate that I have eaten since I saw her adoption posted.  How is it that a 17lb Shih Tzu baby that I have never even met have such an impact on me?  Have I totally lost my marbles?  I've looked through the rescue sites for another little Shih Tzu to steal my heart and none even come close to capturing it yet, besides I promised my husband that if I was not selected to adopt this particular pooch that I would wait to get myself a Shih Tzu.  With all the next year and a half is going to be bringing me I guess this was just God's way of telling me was not time yet, just not yet meant to be as I am going to have a very full plate.  I am super happy that she was adopted and hope that her new home is wonderful and loving.  One day I will rescue a Shih Tzu baby and I also want to rescue a Greyhound when we have more land.

Well, my plate is empty of a brownie and I fear that if I stay awake too much longer I may attack some more of the brownies, so I guess I should find my way to bed.  So good night folks!!!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Great start to the day...

Started my morning with my alarm going off bright and early at 6:30am...I have to admit I was hoping it was still raining out, but when it was all over I was glad that it was not.  I met partner in crime, Christine at "our corner" to begin our morning with a brisk (but at sometimes leisurely) 10 mile walk.  I ache like hell now, mainly due to the crappy rainy's killing my knee!!  AAGGHH!  Mom, if your reading this blog relax it's fine (love you).  Now I'm watching "House" with my hubby (after watching the very sad Jets Vs. Bills game)...our favorite show to watch together (so I'm going to make this a quick blog, LOL).  Did I mention he made the most amazing Puerto Rican dinner this afternoon!  YUMMY, bataligos, tostones, and rice and beans (pardon the spelling) good I will definitely be going back for seconds later tonight.  Other than that just hanging with the family and enjoying them....I love lazy Sundays with the family, the only thing that would make it better would have been us making it to mass this morning.  The kids have been enjoying the various crafts, play doh and other toys that for Christmas.  Love is Great!!!!  So on that note I am signing out and hoping that all of my friends and family are enjoying their Sunday afternoon as much as I am.
   God Bless!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

I went to bed in one year and woke up in another...

Can you believe it is already 2011?  I can't.  Where the heck did 2010 go?  It was a great year for my family, it was the first year in the 13 1/2 years of marriage that my husband was home the entire year (with the exception of one overnight trip and one two night trip)...and surprisingly we did not kill each other, LOL!  I always joke that when he retires from the military he is going to have to find a job that requires monthly travel, you know maybe a weekend here or a week there...because until this year we never lived under the same roof for any length of time.  But sadly, all good things must at some point come to end, so with that said I want a do-over for 2010, I want it to last longer, because I'm just not ready for another year (14 months to be exact) apart.  This time it will be Afghanistan as opposed to Iraq, again trying to be positive, his job over there will be a lot safer than the one in Iraq....but it's still not here with us.

Well, as I try not to think about April, I find my self taking in this year and even a bit of previous years...kind of taking inventory of my life and those in it.  Now this only happened because (I think) I offered a friend on Facebook who is having a difficult pregnancy a meal (I told her I could cook dinner and bring it over one night), now this is a friend who I have not known very long and I really do not talk to that much, so I guess if I were to be technical she would be more of an acquaintance.  None the less, I still offered her my help ...well because that is me.  Anywho, I got a private message from her saying that she had heard and gotten the impression that I did not like her that much.  Needless to say I was puzzled and responded back to her and told her that was far from the truth.  Now I sit and not only wonder what kind of people I have surrounded myself with but also what kind of image/personality I am giving off.  I am not going to ask who said that to her, because it's a moot point, especially since I'm apparently sending off vibes that match what she has been told.  I just wonder what kind of people start rumors/lie like that, I mean really who benefits from such behavior.  Are they doing it just start drama?  I've really had my share of drama in the past two years to last me a lifetime.  It's time for me to start surrounding myself with more positive people, those who bring out the good qualities in me and not the worst. I have learned alot about myself these past few years and unfortunately I've also learned that things are not always what they seem.

So, as I sit here on the first day of 2011 and think, I wonder where we will be this time next year.  What things will happen this year?  Who will be in my life and who will have exited stage left?  What can I change in myself (for the better) this year?  What accomplishments big or small will I achieve this year?  What exactly does God have planned for me...I guess I will have to wait and see and enjoy the ride.